Support for grieving people

Your life may be defined by before and after now, amidst so many other changes. We are glad you found us.

When someone important dies, it often throws everything off balance. Alongside any practical matters, you are learning to live in the world without your person, navigate your unique experience of grief, and find the support you need.

Even though it is a universal part of what it means to be human, grief is an incredibly personal experience. Your grief is unique, shaped by the person you lost, the circumstances of your life, the circumstances of their death, and much more.

As you grieve, be relentlessly patient with yourself and give yourself permission to care for yourself and your heart in the ways that feel best to you.

Remember, there is no checklist, timeline, or right way to grieve. Please be gentle with yourself and take one day at a time.

Many bereaved individuals find it comforting to know that others have faced similar moments. We’ve collected ten considerations based on what we’ve learned from bereaved people, researchers, and therapists — not steps to follow, but perspectives that may resonate with you.

Ten considerations for grieving people

Take care of yourself

There is no right way to cope with grief, no ideal time frame, no best method, no checklist of what you should or should not do. Care for yourself in a way that feels as nourishing, gentle, and kind as possible during these difficult times. That may include creating boundaries by saying yes to the people and things that support you, and no to those that don’t. Recognize that your grief is ever-changing and its impacts will shift over time. When grief is most raw, it may be a big deal to remember to eat or shower, and, over time, you may feel ready to engage more with life and those around you.

Understand that grief looks like many things

Many people think that grief means just being sad, but it’s so much more. You may be sad, angry, lonely, relieved, scared, exhausted, confused, anxious, feeling regret, yearning, or any number of a million other things, and sometimes many things all at the same time. Grief can feel incredibly chaotic, and it is completely normal to feel lost. Your experience is completely valid, even when it feels messier than you might have expected.

Know you are not alone

No one can know exactly what it feels like to be you and to be grieving this loss. But that doesn’t mean you are alone, even if it may feel like it. Everyone, if they live long enough, will experience loss and grief. When you find someone with a similar kind of loss, you may feel connected to them and share the language of loss that helps remind you that you are not alone. If you’re looking to connect with other bereaved people, visit Evermore’s Grief Support Directory.

Find ways to remember your loved one

Many people find comfort in remembering and honoring loved ones in ways that embody their spirit, culture, life, and passion. It may be creating a keepsake, seeing their favorite band, participating in a meaningful ritual, or going on their dream trip. Many bereaved individuals also look to nature, sometimes through sunrises, cardinals, rainbows, or rainfalls. There are no right or wrong ways to remember people you’ve lost; what matters is doing what feels comforting and gentle to you.

Reemerge into the world, at your pace

The world continues to move forward in an unrelenting way, which can be devastating, especially after a recent death. Reentering social communities, going back to work, and helping others understand how best to support you may pose significant challenges. Over time, grief and challenges change, as the experience shifts and you learn what is supportive to you and what is not. What may have seemed impossible in the early days — taking the dog for a walk, going to a local yoga class, planting a garden — may, in time, feel right and even supportive.

Find the support you need

In the beginning, many friends and relatives may say, “Let me know what you need” or ask, “How can I help?” Yet you may have no idea what you need. If possible, respond with something that might lighten your stress, such as running an errand, bringing a meal, or raking the leaves. You might also ask someone to talk with you about the person you miss and share memories. There are many groups, camps, and retreats that support bereaved family members, some of which are listed in Evermore’s Grief Support Directory.

Connect with others, if and when you wish

Engagement and connection with others can feel supportive while grieving. Like all aspects of grief, your appetite for connection may shift over time, and there are no right answers. You might feel like avoiding social contact, or you may want to be with people more, or perhaps just certain people with whom you can share your grief. When you are ready, seek out people and environments that feel supportive to you.

Share your story

Sometimes, grief needs to be spoken. At a time, at your own pace, and in a manner that you are comfortable with, you may want to share your story and perspectives with others. You do not need to share the whole story, nor do you need to enter situations that may cause further difficulty. You might talk to close friends and family, start a blog, attend an open mic event, or join an event with others experiencing similar losses.

Reminders happen

Life will continue to bring reminders that your person is no longer here — the empty chair at the breakfast table, a check-in call that doesn’t come, a holiday tradition that isn’t the same. Some reminders may be predictable, while others cannot be, such as when your person’s favorite song comes on the radio or a scent brings a cascade of memories. In these moments, remember that it is completely normal to have strong reactions to painful reminders of profound loss.

Life changes

Many times, loss changes everything. It can be hard to adjust both to the loss of the person and to all the other changes that come alongside it. Over time, you may not cry every day; maybe you can manage to sit in your loved one’s room, or buy their favorite cereal once more. Adjusting to loss is a lifelong process full of challenges and surprises, including new hopes, remembrances, and moments of grief. Be gentle with yourself as you find your way through whatever will come.

For your specific loss

Grief looks different depending on who you have lost. These pages offer information for specific relationships.

Supporting a grieving child

How to talk with, comfort, and care for a bereaved child.

Grieving the death of your child

Understanding and context for bereaved parents.

Grieving the death of a sibling or friend

For a profound loss that is too often overlooked.

Grieving the death a spouse or partner

When every part of life is affected at once.

More information, whenever you’re ready

Wherever you are, these resources are here for you to return to at your own pace.

Sit with a song

Sometimes music holds what words can’t.

When You Lose Someone Like That by Seth Glier and Steve Seskin
Listen →

Talk with children about death

Age-appropriate guidance for the children in your life.

Learn More

Find local grief support

Our Grief Support Directory gathers bereavement resources in every state, so you can see what’s near you.

Find Support

Explore the Grief Bookstore

A collection of books for grieving adults, children, and families.