{"id":2357,"date":"2019-04-02T12:17:22","date_gmt":"2019-04-02T16:17:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thealfam.com\/evermore\/public\/?page_id=2357"},"modified":"2026-07-23T12:20:14","modified_gmt":"2026-07-23T16:20:14","slug":"ten-ways-to-support","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/thealfam.com\/evermore\/ten-ways-to-support\/","title":{"rendered":"Ten Ways to Support"},"content":{"rendered":"[vc_row type=”full_width_background” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” equal_height=”yes” content_placement=”middle” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” bg_image=”21134″ bg_image_type=”default” bg_position=”center center” background_image_loading=”default” bg_repeat=”no-repeat” scene_position=”center” top_padding=”5%” constrain_group_1=”yes” bottom_padding=”5%” text_color=”light” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” row_position_desktop=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” enable_gradient=”true” color_overlay=”#000000ED” color_overlay_2=”#0B2E48EB” overlay_strength=”0.95″ gradient_direction=”left_t_to_right_b” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” shape_type=”” gradient_type=”default”][vc_column column_padding=”padding-3-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”7\/12″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” offset=”vc_col-xs-12″ column_padding_type=”default” content_layout=”default” gradient_type=”default”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” flex_gap_desktop=”10px” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1\/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” enable_animation=”true” animation=”fade-in-from-bottom” animation_easing=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][nectar_gradient_text heading_tag=”h1″ color=”extra-color-gradient-2″ gradient_direction=”horizontal” text=”Ten Ways to Support”][vc_custom_heading text=”The bereaved do not expect you to bring them miracles.” use_theme_fonts=”yes” css_animation=”none” css=””][\/vc_column_inner][\/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” flex_gap_desktop=”10px” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1\/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” enable_animation=”true” animation=”fade-in-from-bottom” animation_easing=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” delay=”50″][vc_custom_heading text=”Bereaved people need friendship, companionship and a good listener.” font_container=”tag:h4|text_align:left|color:rgba(255%2C255%2C255%2C0.75)” use_theme_fonts=”yes” css_animation=”none” css=””][\/vc_column_inner][\/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” flex_gap_desktop=”10px” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1\/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” enable_animation=”true” animation=”fade-in-from-bottom” animation_easing=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_column_text css=”” text_direction=”default”]Most of the time, when a person loses a loved one, it does not make the evening news. There is no outpouring of national support. The bereaved may feel isolated in their suffering and need the support of family, friends, and community to carry them forward. But it can be hard to connect with a person for fear of doing the wrong thing or saying something that is hurtful.[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column_inner][\/vc_row_inner][\/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”5\/12″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” offset=”vc_col-xs-12″ column_padding_type=”default” content_layout=”default” gradient_type=”default”][image_with_animation image_url=”19050″ image_size=”full” max_width=”100%” max_width_mobile=”default” animation_type=”entrance” animation=”Grow In” animation_easing=”default” animation_movement_type=”transform_y” hover_animation=”none” alignment=”” border_radius=”10px” box_shadow=”large_depth” image_loading=”default”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row type=”full_width_background” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” equal_height=”yes” content_placement=”middle” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” bg_color=”#FAF8F6″ scene_position=”center” top_padding=”5%” constrain_group_1=”yes” bottom_padding=”5%” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” row_position_desktop=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” row_name=”Sign Up Steps” enable_gradient=”true” color_overlay_2=”#247CC14D” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”top_to_bottom” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” shape_type=”” gradient_type=”default”][vc_column column_padding=”padding-2-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”top-bottom” flex_gap_desktop=”10px” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1\/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” offset=”vc_col-xs-12″][vc_row_inner equal_height=”yes” content_placement=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” bottom_padding=”3%” text_align=”left” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” flex_gap_desktop=”10px” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”2\/3″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][nectar_highlighted_text color_type=”regular” highlight_color=”#E76E51″ style=”regular_underline” highlight_expansion=”default” underline_thickness=”default” text_direction=”default”]\n

Here are a few simple actions<\/em> you can take that are helpful<\/h2>\n[\/nectar_highlighted_text][\/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” flex_gap_desktop=”10px” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1\/3″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][\/vc_column_inner][\/vc_row_inner][nectar_icon_list animate=”true” color=”Extra-Color-1″ direction=”horizontal” columns=”2″ icon_size=”medium” icon_style=”border”][nectar_icon_list_item icon_type=”numerical” text_full_html=”html” title=”List Item” id=”1784681808896-10″ header=”Say something” tab_id=”1784681808896-8″]Offering a sincere expression of sorrow is often the best way to convey your feelings and let people know they are not alone. Simply saying \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d is far more effective than platitudes like \u201cGod only gives you what you can handle\u201d or \u201cEverything happens for a reason.\u201d Do not force people to help you make sense of your own grief; they have enough to carry.[\/nectar_icon_list_item][nectar_icon_list_item icon_type=”numerical” text_full_html=”html” title=”List Item” id=”1784681808901-1″ header=”Listen” tab_id=”1784681808901-5″]Giving people the space to talk or not talk can be a tremendous relief. No one is looking for you to \u201csolve\u201d their crisis or say magical words that will make them feel better. This is their time, their process, their loss. Respect their story and listen unconditionally.[\/nectar_icon_list_item][nectar_icon_list_item icon_type=”numerical” text_full_html=”html” title=”List Item” id=”1784681808905-7″ header=”Be consistent” tab_id=”1784681808905-1″]Show up in predictable ways during a chaotic time. It could be as simple as delivering ice cream every Tuesday at 4p.m. or bringing food or staying to keep them company and do dishes. A person should not feel the need to entertain anyone or be kind to unannounced visitors arriving unexpectedly at their doorstep. Arrange a time to visit that is convenient and easy for them, then be consistent.[\/nectar_icon_list_item][nectar_icon_list_item icon_type=”numerical” text_full_html=”html” title=”List Item” id=”1784681808910-4″ header=”Keepsakes” tab_id=”1784681808910-6″]Working with the person to find ways to commemorate the life of their loved one provides an outlet that can help. While their loved one may be physically gone from a person\u2019s life, they are still very present and \u201cwith them\u201d every day. Consider helping them create an ornament, planting a tree, or framing a meaningful letter or piece of artwork in memory of their loved one.[\/nectar_icon_list_item][nectar_icon_list_item icon_type=”numerical” text_full_html=”html” title=”List Item” id=”1784681808912-0″ header=”Birthdays” tab_id=”1784681808912-9″]Birthdays carry two kinds of weight: the birthday of the person who died, and the birthday of the person left behind. Reach out on both. A short text is often enough, something like thinking of you today may work. If you knew the person who died, share a specific memory \u2014 the funny thing they said or the way they laughed. Bereaved people frequently worry that their loved one is being forgotten. Saying their name or sharing a story is a gift.[\/nectar_icon_list_item][nectar_icon_list_item icon_type=”numerical” text_full_html=”html” title=”List Item” id=”1784681808916-10″ header=”Holiday celebrations” tab_id=”1784681808917-9″]Working with people to incorporate new traditions that include their loved one in a meaningful way during the holiday season can reinforce that their loved one still matters \u2013 and that while these individuals may be gone, they are not forgotten. Be aware that the fall \u2013 from Thanksgiving to New Year\u2019s Day \u2013 tends to be a universally difficult time of year for people.[\/nectar_icon_list_item][nectar_icon_list_item icon_type=”numerical” text_full_html=”html” title=”List Item” id=”1784681808923-9″ header=”Anniversaries” tab_id=”1784681808923-7″]Slipping into deep grief, becoming isolated or easily irritated are common reactions near and during the anniversary of the death date. These days tend to be especially difficult for people for many years. Looking for opportunities to help people honor their loved ones in their own, often very personal and private way is best. It is not uncommon during these anniversaries for bereaved people to write an annual heartfelt remembrance letter, plant a garden, or simply experience nature through hiking, watching the sunrise, or sitting next to the ocean.[\/nectar_icon_list_item][nectar_icon_list_item icon_type=”numerical” text_full_html=”html” title=”List Item” id=”1784681808927-3″ header=”Chores” tab_id=”1784681808927-6″]Many regular household chores fall by the wayside. Help people by raking their leaves, cleaning their kitchen or bathroom, mowing their grass, or taking on other routine tasks. Many times, just remembering to eat or shower can be overwhelming for the newly bereaved, especially in the first few days and weeks.[\/nectar_icon_list_item][nectar_icon_list_item icon_type=”numerical” text_full_html=”html” title=”List Item” id=”1784681808932-3″ header=”All the family” tab_id=”1784681808932-0″]Depending on who has died in a family, it is common for supporters to show great concern for only one individual. It is important to acknowledge and care for all family members \u2013 especially young children who require a great deal of immediate attention and energy \u2013 which can be challenging for grieving adults. Consider taking the young children to a park or other energy-intensive outing, or simply invite them over to make cookies or an art project. Recognize that many family members tend to suffer in silence and repress their feelings in an effort to protect their others. They need support too; do not forget them.[\/nectar_icon_list_item][nectar_icon_list_item icon_type=”numerical” text_full_html=”html” title=”List Item” id=”1784681808938-9″ header=”Remember” tab_id=”1784681808939-3″]Losing a loved one is forever. While time will pass for you, people will carry their memories every minute of every day for the rest of their lives. Many people look for opportunities to talk about their loved one in a safe and supportive environment. Using their loved one\u2019s name and not being afraid to enter into a discussion about them may be a welcome conversation. Openly wondering what might have been, what path their life could have taken, and how their life could have positively influenced our world or society, are all ways to acknowledge and remember what we have all lost.[\/nectar_icon_list_item][\/nectar_icon_list][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row type=”full_width_content” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” equal_height=”yes” content_placement=”middle” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” bg_color=”#FAF8F6″ bg_image=”20962″ bg_image_type=”default” bg_position=”center center” background_image_loading=”default” bg_repeat=”no-repeat” scene_position=”center” top_padding=”5%” constrain_group_1=”yes” bottom_padding=”5%” left_padding_desktop=”10%” constrain_group_2=”yes” right_padding_desktop=”10%” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” row_position_desktop=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” enable_gradient=”true” color_overlay=”#FAF8F6″ color_overlay_2=”#FAF8F6″ overlay_strength=”0.95″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” gradient_type=”default” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” flex_gap_desktop=”10px” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”center” phone_text_alignment=”center” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”2\/3″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][nectar_gradient_text heading_tag=”h2″ color=”extra-color-gradient-1″ gradient_direction=”horizontal” text=”Get the Latest Updates”][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1784681150948{margin-top: 15px !important;}” text_direction=”default”]\n

Keep up to date on the latest legislative actions, news, resources, and events advancing bereavement care in America.<\/h4>\n[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” flex_gap_desktop=”10px” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”center” phone_text_alignment=”center” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1\/3″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”right” row_position=”default” row_position_tablet=”inherit” row_position_phone=”inherit” overflow=”visible” pointer_events=”all”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_direction_desktop=”default” column_element_spacing=”default” desktop_text_alignment=”right” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_backdrop_filter=”none” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” overflow=”visible” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1\/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” column_padding_type=”default” content_layout=”default” gradient_type=”default”][nectar_cta btn_style=”arrow-animation” arrow_animation_alignment=”left” heading_tag=”span” link_type=”new_tab” button_color=”accent-color” button_color_hover=”#247CC1″ text_color=”#FFFFFF” text_color_hover=”#FFFFFF” button_border_thickness=”2px” alignment=”center” alignment_tablet=”default” alignment_phone=”default” display=”block” display_tablet=”inherit” display_phone=”inherit” link_text=”Sign Up Now” font_size_desktop=”1.1em” url=”https:\/\/thealfam.com\/evermore\/mailing-list\/” padding_top=”0.65em” padding_bottom=”0.65em” padding_left=”1.5em” padding_right=”1.5em”][\/vc_column_inner][\/vc_row_inner][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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